Therapy, Coaching or Mentoring: Which Is Right for You?

Life throws curveballs at us. Sometimes we expect it sometimes we don’t. The feeling of being stuck and unable to think of a way out of whatever feeling or situation you are in is distasteful.

What is important when feeling stuck is to firstly, acknowledge the feelings you are feeling, and seek out the help that is right for you, and what you need.

There are options of either going to therapy, get coaching or being mentored. This paper will present when you need each one, in order for you to be able to see which one would best fit you when feeling stuck.

Life throws curveballs at us. Sometimes we expect it sometimes we don’t. The feeling of being stuck and unable to think of a way out of whatever feeling or situation you are in is distasteful.

What is important when feeling stuck is to firstly, acknowledge the feelings you are feeling, and seek out the help that is right for you, and what you need. There are options of either going to therapy, get coaching or being mentored.

This paper will present when you need each one, in order for you to be able to see which one would best fit you when feeling stuck.n you need each one, in order for you to be able to see which one would best fit you when feeling stuck.

Getting out of your comfort zone – why?

Being in our comfort zone is comfortable, its easy and what most people opt for their whole lives. What we often don’t realise is that our comfort zones limit our experiences of the world.

The knowledge of the world we have that is solely based on our own experiences is limited and bias according to the way that we wanna perceive the world according to what is comfortable (Atherton & Kyle, 2015).

By stepping out of our comfort zones, meeting and speaking to different people and keeping an open mind to new experiences and opinions we open up the world to our eyes.

Once you have stepped out of your comfort zone and understand the word better, you will be better equipped to identify your emotions, no matter how uncomfortable and be able to get the help that you need when feeling stuck.

What does it mean to be stuck?

To actually come to the terms with the fact that you are stuck is not always easy. Being stuck can mean a number of things. Firstly, you may be experiencing a depressive episode that you can’t seem to get out of.

Constantly stuck in your head, stuck in your thoughts and not seeing a way out. Then there is the stuck where you are confused in a sense. Your life doesn’t seem to be moving at the pace you want, you’re constantly getting job rejections, and the dream or gaols you had set for yourself at a certain age aren’t meant, and no matter how hard you try or think you are trying you can’t get unstuck.

Sometimes we lack motivation we just don’t have enough motivation to get up or do things, there is no clear future that you can see in a positive sense, that too is being stuck. All these forms of being stuck can be helped through either therapy, coaching or mentoring, depending on what you require to get unstuck.

Differentiating: therapy, coaching and mentoring

Therapy

The stereotype around therapy is that its for people suffering from mental illnesses or weak people, but therapy is much more than that. Therapy uses a very intimate client-practioner relationship that focuses around your emotional needs and an identifiable issue such as depression (Hart et al., 2001).

Therapy focuses on more unconscious issues and delves into your childhood, and past experiences in order to repair the damage that was caused from earlier experiences (Hart et al., 2001).

Therapy can also work with families (Seligman, 2002), or couples who may be experiencing conflict or couples feeling stuck in their relationships. Therapy can be used when you are feeling mentally stuck and in a loop that is only taking you and your mental health down.

Coaching

Coaching is goal orientated. There is an identifiable goal that you work through with the coach to maximise your fulfilment in work or life to get you out of the stuck feeling (Hart et al., 2001). Coaches focus more on problems of the now to help their clients as opposed to digging into the past.

Coaching is focused around positive psychology and focuses on changing the attitudes and perceptions of life (Ives, 2008). It helps the client to believe in themselves and their ability to maximise their potential in order for them to be able to get themselves out of a slum even post-sessions, and equip them with the tools to keep themselves motivated through it all.

Mentoring

Mentoring involves an experienced mentor who is supporting and guiding a mentee (Bush & Coleman, 1995). Mentoring is beneficial in the sense that it is goal directed and due to the close relationship between the mentor and mentee, the sharing of thoughts and experiences is much easier (Bush & Coleman, 1995).

The mentee has an inspirational figure to look up to, ask questions and be guided by. Mentors build confidence and encourage their mentees. A mentor can be someone you have known for years even after the sessions, and can even become a close friend. Going through the process of mentoring is worth the investment you gain both a friend and someone to look up to (Gay, 1994).

Factors to consider when choosing between therapy, coaching and mentoring

When choosing which route too take to get the help you need, you need to ask yourself what kind of support do you need. Do you need emotional and psychological support? – Therapy.

Do you need a relationship with someone you can look up to who will help you though your problem? – Mentoring.

Or, Do you need encouragement and a goal orientated kind of help because you have a particular goal in mind? – Coaching.

The stigma around mental health issues is precisely why many people suffer in silence and don’t seek out the help they need let alone any help at all. The stigmas around mental health will always be there, and the comments and opinions about you going to therapy or coaching or even getting a mentor won’t stop.

You need to mentally prepare yourself to get the help you need and continue to tell yourself that the end goal is bettering yourself, and the journey is for you and not anyone else.

Finding the right professional for your needs

The hardest part about getting help is actually physically doing the work to get it. Once you have decided which route of help you need and will opt for, finding the right professional will be a breeze. You may have to take some time choosing between your options, getting recommendations and finding out which specific therapist or kind of therapist you want.

Mentoring is slightly easier, you can even choose a family member or friend you look up to to mentor you, its all about who do you think inspires and will inspire you to get better. There are various routes you can take to find a coach, looking online is one, and many therapist double as coaches so perhaps you could find both a therapist and a coach.

Life post-sessions

Staying consistent and keeping up the progress you may have gotten from sessions of therapy, coaching, or mentoring is the hardest part of the journey. The mistake most people make after therapy or getting the help they needed when they were stuck, is thinking that you are “fine” and don’t require the journalling, the introspecting or the once in a while check-ins.

Continuing on the tips and self-help options you may have acquired throughout your sessions is the best way for you to sustain your progress and grow even further. Being stuck is something we all face at least once in our lives, and getting unstuck is possible with the right help.

References

Atherton, I., & Kyle, R. (2015). Stepping outside your comfort zone. Nursing Standard, 29(21),
24-25.

Bush, T., & Coleman, M. (1995). Professional development for heads: The role of
mentoring. Journal of Educational Administration.

Clutterbuck, D. (2008). What’s happening in coaching and mentoring? And what is the difference
between them?. Development and Learning in Organizations: An International Journal, 22(4), 8-10.

Gay, B. (1994). What is mentoring?. Education+ Training, 36(5), 4-7.

Hart, V., Blattner, J., & Leipsic, S. (2001). Coaching versus therapy: A perspective. Consulting
Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 53(4), 229.

Ives, Y. (2008). What is’ coaching’? An exploration of conflicting paradigms. International Journal
of Evidence Based Coaching & Mentoring, 6(2).

Moustakas, C. E. (1956). The self; explorations in personal growth.

Schaefer, J. A., & Moos, R. H. (2001). Bereavement experiences and personal growth.

Seligman, M. E. (2002). Positive psychology, positive prevention, and positive therapy. Handbook
of positive psychology, 2(2002), 3-12.